


Lapis Lazuli

by sundayrice



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Time Loop, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest Spoilers, Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation Spoilers, No Deeprealms, One Shot, ending is ambiguously happy???, this is a disjointed mess i am so sorry, this is like inconsistency in mood and tone at its finest, well sorta reincarnation i'm not really sure what to call it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 22:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10398054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundayrice/pseuds/sundayrice
Summary: Laslow finds himself in love with a mysterious songstress. He knows he'll have to leave her eventually but decides to stay with her, just for a while. Laslow finds himself making a promise with a mysterious songstress. He fails her once, but he knows he won't do it again.(A collection of short snippets, set in the Conquest route, chronicling Laslow's life after he starts talking to Azura.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is the first fanfic i've ever written and published!! it's probably pretty typical but hopefully it's still a nice read anyways!
> 
> okay so i told myself that i was going to write a lazura fic because they're my fav fe14 couple and the world needs more lazura fics. so yeah this is just a little one shot i made b/c i really like lazura and i hope other people do to. i'm not really the best at writing romance but i hope this is okay!! also i haven't really proofread this so tell me if i made any mistakes (there are probably a lot of them).

 

* * *

_Let me love you across every lifetime I live, in this one and the next._

* * *

 

|||

It was a perilous encounter with Azura last week. The way the songstress had managed to find his secret dance spot was unknown to him. Laslow, being the nervous wreck he was, had to fumble to find the right words and it all ended in another awkward tea invitation. Curious was her fascination in Laslow's stupid little dancing, even going as far as to _compliment_ him on it. Even more curious was the fact that she decided to continue talking to him afterward.

Laslow sat quietly in his tent, heart pounding out of his chest. The ticking of an old pocket watch accompanied him, as he waited for Azura to arrive. He couldn't find a single place to rest his eyes. His eyes raced back and forth between the tent walls. He covered his eyes with both hands and took a deep breath to try and calm down.

Laslow found it quite odd, inviting this mysterious woman to spend the evening in his tent. No doubt he interacted often with the women of the army but rarely would it go past the initial cup of tea. Once in a blue moon would he get the chance invite a girl into his tent. Laslow himself could only ever recall this happening with two girls. The first was Selena, which surprised no one. They would often find time to catch up and sometimes reminisce about the past. The other was Mozu, oddly enough, whom he owed quite the debt and would often help her with planting and harvest.

Even the concept of him being in a tent felt interesting; it was refreshing after all his time spent in the Nohrian capital. In Castle Krakenburg, he, alongside the other Nohrian retainers, had their own rooms. Small, but cozy enough to find peace and quiet. Laslow's personal room had always been rather barren and bleak. But, there was something about the small tent that made him feel more at home, more at home than he could ever feel in Castle Krakenburg. Going back to a tent prompted him to decorate it more than his room in the castle. Every once and a while he could close his eyes and pretend he was still in Ylisse. The gathering grounds of the Shepherds in the garrison town. His tent, set up not too far from Owain's and to his left, Brady's. To his right, he could hear chattering coming from Severa's tent, presumably trying to get Kjelle to wear some frilly dresses. Or from Cynthia's, attempting to entrance Nah with another one of her 'heroic tales'. Thinking back made Laslow giggle to himself, only for that giggle to quickly fade into a frown.

Thinking of Ylisse was no good for him. He would only feel more homesick.

 

|||

It had been at least two months since he first talked to Azura.

Azura offered her tent up for an injured Nohrian soldier from the last skirmish and took it upon herself to stay the night with Laslow. Not that either of them minded, of course, but it was the first time that she would be sleeping the night.

Since the last time, Laslow reorganized his tent, reserving a small corner for important trinkets and memories of his family. His father's silver bow was perched up against the wall of the tent next to an empty quiver. An old sword of his mother's was leaning against the bow.

That night, he noticed that Azura was incredibly invested in that little corner of his. He looked back to see Azura's lovely smile. Laying gentle in her palm, a soft piece of fabric embroidered with a triangle pattern. It was Olivia's --  _his mother's_  -- headband. Azura's eyes focused deeply on it, stroking it gently with one finger. 

With a tap on the shoulder, Azura snapped out of her little dream. "Sorry, I just thought, uh, was this your mother's?" Azura's face momentarily returned to her melancholy state, seemingly deep in thought.

"Why, yes! How did you-" Laslow's voice trailed off.

"Well, I certainly didn't think it was yours. Doesn't quite match your style," with her words, the songstress let a small chuckle escape her lips. That was the second time. "I was just thinking, it reminds me of a gift from my mother. This veil I wear was once hers and I, uh, thought they looked similar.

Azura had started to talk about her past more openly. It was a pleasing feeling for her, being able to share without judgment. Laslow saw her examine more of the trinkets he had in his tent. They ranged from letters to old weapons to his mother's wedding ring. The were snippets of his old life, taken with him into the future. Laslow explaining meticulously yet cautiously, refusing to give away too much.

With each of the trinkets, he started to think more and more of his home, more and more of his mother. His mother who was dead. His mother who, in another world, had a baby to take care of. He thought of Inigo. Little Inigo who didn't have to worry about the horrors of war. Inigo who didn't have to save yet another world. Inigo who wasn't robbed of his childhood and his freedom.

Inigo who didn't have the chance to fall in love with Azura.

 

||| 

Late at night, no one else would hear the splashing of the lake. Over time, Laslow had mastered the art of sneaking out late at night without being noticed. As he learned, Azura was a master of sneaking out too. From her days in the Nohrian capital, it almost became second nature slipping away past the castle staff and the king's concubines. It was more rewarding now, when she was with Laslow, for she didn't have to fear a brutal punishment.

Laslow was out of breath trying to catch up with her excited, almost childish, skipping and stopped to rest once he reached the wooden dock. Azura, already barefoot, had taken a few steps into the lake. She held out her hand, urging Laslow to join in. Laslow didn't bother to take off his boots and dipped his left foot into the lake. The sun was starting to set. No one could be seen or heard for miles, only the whistling of the wind.

"Tonight is the perfect night for a musical number, wouldn't you agree?" Laslow said with a bold grin. No reply, Azura returned him a brazen smile and intertwined her fingers with his. Azura hummed a soulful tune and Laslow started to sway from side to side. First, a few modest steps. Next, a waltz suited for the Nohrian court. Laslow was fully immersed in his dancing, twirling Azura around him from time to time. Laslow felt passion in every step and hoped that Azura would feel it too.

As the dance slowed down, Laslow held Azura closely and she peppered him a few kisses on the neck. She tiptoed and gave him one last kiss on the lips. The cold wasn't bothersome when he had her to keep him warm.

The two broke apart and Azura walked back towards the lakeside dock, pulling him along with her.

"Thank you for the little dance," Azura hummed as she stepped back on the dock. With one hand she patted out her skirt and fumbled to the ground. Laslow, still holding onto her hand, stumbled down with her.

"Now, it's time for me to give you something. Close your eyes," Azura said in a playful voice. Laslow covered both eyes with his hands. Fabric rustled beside him and a small piece of metal clinked against something else. 

"You can open them now," Laslow let both hands fall back to his lap. "it's a gift from me to you," Azura pushed back her hair with one hand and in the other laid a perfect stone tied to an elegant golden chain. The stone was blue as the deep ocean and had a radiance to rival Azura herself. The dim sunset behind the lake made the stone glow faintly. He felt like the entire galaxy was in his hands.

"What is this, if you don't mind me asking?" Laslow couldn't recall having ever seen this stone before but he loved it all the same.

"Lapis lazuli," that was the third time a chuckle escaped her lips; it was just as lovely and delicate as the first time he had heard it. "a Hoshidan ore commonly used for forging but I think it's quite lovely on its own." 

_Lovely, just like you,_  Laslow thought to himself, too embarrassed to say anything. His face flushed with a bright red glow. Azura nuzzled up close to him, resting her head on his shoulders. 

 

|||

Tonight, Azura declined staying in Laslow's tent as she was helping smith weapons with Arthur and Odin. After Xander's reunion with the rest of the retinue, alongside the new arrival of Shura into camp, there was a big demand for new weapons to be made well and quick. The next few months set themselves out to be difficult as the group edged closer to Hoshidan territory. They would be crossing into Hoshidan through Mokushu and the detour would take weeks, prompting Xander to take the helm and advise a brief hiatus until everyone was ready to press forward.

Laslow decided to used tonight's moment of respite to do nothing but _think_. For Laslow, thinking was a trap because inevitably he would think about the things he hated until he didn't want to think anymore. He tried to keep his mind off her for a bit, but, in doing so, it only made him think of her more.

Over the past year with Azura, he always has the disgusting taste of guilt sitting on his tongue. He tried to swallow it away but it only made every memory taste just like it. 

_It's not love if I can't trust her with my secrets,_ as Laslow was deep in his thoughts, he bit down too hard on his lip and it started to bleed.

Laslow respected Azura with all his heart and knew the seemingly soft-spoken woman was far more assertive and strong than she let on. She had told him about her past, about her mother, about her time in Hoshido and in Nohr. She didn't deserve Laslow's lies. _That's why_ , Laslow thought to himself, _the next time she finds herself in my tent, I will have told her everything._   

 

|||

Usually, Laslow would have felt more comfortable, cuddling next to the woman he loved. This time, he felt the most uncomfortable he had ever been in his life.

A week prior, Laslow had decided to do what he wanted and told her everything. Since then, he hadn't seen her face to face. What would she say? Would she feel compelled to respond to a _coward_ like him? Now, he decided to call for her again. For the whole evening, it was a quiet gathering of somber hugs and empty kisses. Only as the sun started to set did Laslow feel the need to break the silence.

"You know I have to leave one day, don't you?"

"Yes,"

"Then why are you staying?"

"Because I love you," The words fell delicately from the songstress' lips but they held a surprising amount of weight on Laslow's heart.

He knew he shouldn't do this. Laslow still felt guilty laying here next to Azura, her face buried into his back as they cuddled in his tent. Her arms held tightly around his stomach. The soft silk of her nightgown brushed along his leg. It was euphoric feeling, having the woman he loved laying right next to him. Euphoria followed by a pounding pang that brought him back to reality.

"You don't know anything about me," Laslow said. "I love you too but I-"

"What about that headband you showed me. Or the letters from Odin and Selena. Or the ring," Azura whispered, cutting off Laslow's train of thought. "I know plenty about you, but I'm the guilty one. I let you tell me everything, while I give you nothing."

Laslow felt a couple of cold tears touch his bare back. Azura tried to keep down her sniffling to avoid waking up the rest of the camp. Soon, Laslow found himself sniffling too and more cold tears graced his skin.

"Maybe, neither of us know each other like we think we do," Laslow said, wiping his face. He wished he was lying but deep down he knew everything about them was shallow and deceitful. A long silence held in the air as the two tried to regain themselves.

"Laslow?" Azura said.

"Hmm?" Laslow's heart began to pound.

"I want to get to know you better," _You really don't,_  Laslow thought to himself, but, instead of speaking, decided to swallow his words. "No more secrets between us, promise?" 

It was a simple request, but one Laslow wasn't sure he could follow through with. Not that he didn't want to, but more that he couldn't  _afford_  to. It was for the best that he didn't get attached when he had a mission to focus on.

"Promise."

 

|||

A meeting in Azura's tent was a rare occasion among the two of them. So he had been told, Azura has always considered his tent to cozier of the two and it had become her second home. However, Azura insisted on meeting in her tent today.

The two sat across from each other. Laslow was hunched over with hands on his knees and giving Azura every bit of his attention.

"Laslow," she started, quickly taking a pause to try and hide her shaky voice.

"Yes,"

"You told me you had a mission to fulfill in Nohr, yes? Well, truth be told I do too," Azura faced the floor to avoid his gaze. "I know that I will also leave one day after my mission is done. And I fear that _I_ will be the one that leaves first."

He gave himself a second to digest her words. Laslow grabbed the songstresses hand in his own, keeping his full attention on her. Azura lifted her face again to look him square in the eyes.

"Then I'll help you fulfill your mission," Laslow said without hesitation. "whatever it is, I'll do what I can to help you."

Azura was visibly distressed and took a deep breath before continuing. "Laslow, you can't, you already have something else you need to do."

"I know," Laslow said, "But I think it's for the best if, if I help you and you help me. We can both help each other. Promise?" He lifted up his pinky and waited.

Azura's tense body loosened up a bit. Laslow looked down at her arms to see her shaking. She lifted up her pinky to match his.

"Promise."

 

|||

Laslow felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner. When he sat next to her, he should have noticed the purple infestation, eating away at her skin. He should have seen how _odd_ the light from her pendant was. He should have noticed that she was getting sicker and sicker. But Azura had always told him she would be okay, she told him it was part of the mission. She was _right_ , it was part of the mission. A small price to pay for the greater good, she told him.

She left first and he wasn't able to follow. She had gone a place where no one could follow. Laslow sat somberly in front of her grave, his steely eyes swayed back and forth between the text engraved on the stone. He knew full well. Azura wasn't dead, she was in another world. He knew full well but he couldn't tell anyone lest he wishes to be disintegrated into dust.

Laslow felt both proud and angry. Proud that his love finished her mission and found her own inner peace, but angry that he couldn't have seen that inner peace too.

This was a glorious day for Nohr, for it was King Xander's coronation. Preparations were being made for the ceremony by Nohrians and Hoshidans alike. Laslow spent that day with Mozu in the kitchen, offering to help her prepare a banquet. He was momentarily amused by Mozu's tall tales about bear hunts and plant gathering, but Laslow was nothing but hollow inside. Laslow's job today was to put on a brave face and pretend like everything was okay, just like he always had.

_You should be happy. Because at least you're still here,_ said a nagging little voice.

Laslow tried to forget his troubles when he spoke to Xander, who had walked talk hoping to restore Nohr to what it once was. But Nohr could not be restored to its former glory. Anankos was still waiting for the day when Laslow would come and kill him. Until then, Nohr and Hoshido would be trapped in an inevitable cycle and history would repeat itself over and over again.

_Azura is gone but she still fulfilled her mission. Just like with Grima, you can't do anything about it,_ continued the voice. Laslow slammed down against the kitchen table, cracking a fragile plate under his hand. Mozu recoiled in fear and nearly dropped the teacup she was holding.

Laslow felt an intense heat boiling in his stomach. It burned inside him. His throat became dry and his heartbeat was erratic. He wanted to stop shaking. A million tiny thoughts stormed around inside his mind and he had lost all focus. Something wet dripped down his hand and, at this point, there was no telling whether it was sweat or blood. 

_You're still here but it doesn't matter. None of it matters. Because you've **failed**._

    

|||  

Five years later, the July weather cast a bright sunlight over a collection of tombs. One was older and more damaged. It had a bouquet of white-blue lilies leaning against it, alongside a lovely pendant that shone brilliantly in the daylight. The other had only been made months ago. On the second grave sat a similar pendant with a golden chain and a blue gem in the center. Next to the pendant was a book, falling apart at the seams titled 'Letters Dedicated to Laslow of the Indigo Skies'.

Five years later, the July weather would soon be clouded by storms bearing gifts of plague and poison. Nohr hadn't made haste in rebuilding itself and sickness would be enough to wipe out most who were still alive. Now, everything was a fruitless effort.

Along the bottomless canyon, a great tremor roared through the continent. It would start there. The forthcoming rise of an invisible presence that would invade Nohr and tear it back to ashes.

 

|||

The lovely sun of a Ylissean summer was always a welcome sight during war times. Today was a lively August day. Today was a special day for the camp, and especially for Inigo. Today was Inigo's sixth birthday and Olivia was set on making it the greatest day of his life. The night before, she stayed but late working on preparations for the party, much to the worry of Inigo's father.

It was a small celebration, though most of the Shepherds gathered in the barracks to congratulate Inigo. Each family took a turn to give Inigo their sincerest wishes. Afterward, the small celebration dissolved into an active party, where everyone was gossiping. On a large wooden table sat a modest banquet, enough for all of the Shepherds to enjoy. Everyone was eating heartily and the clinking of glasses drowned out among the lively chatter. 

Once the chatter had died down, Olivia took Inigo by the arm and took him to an isolated corner of the barracks. Olivia brushed some dust off the skirt of her gown and bundled it up in her hands, revealing the tips of her sandals. It was a traditional Feroxi gown, lavished in multiple shades of pink and gold.

"Inigo darling," his mother crouched down to match his height with a warm smile on her face. "I have a present for you."

Inigo's eyes lit up like stars and he sat in awe, no words or sounds falling from his open mouth. In that moment, Inigo's eyes found their way to Olivia's neck, staring at a necklace that clashed with the rest of her gown. Olivia was wearing a necklace with a bright blue stone embedded in the center. Carefully, she removed the necklace and put it around Inigo's neck.

"It's a good luck charm," her soft voice was still audible among the rest of the chatter. "from my mother, your grandmother. Growing up I was always told that if I held this close, I'd be able to achieve anything."

It was a typical and trite speech to give, but Inigo believed every word. He clutched the pendant close to his heart.

"Thank you, mommy!" he chimed in, giving Olivia a quick kiss on the forehead before running back to rejoin the rest of the children. 

 

|||

Just like that, the little boy Inigo was conscripted to war yet again. For Grima had arrived yet again. For Grima would always rise again no matter what they did to try and change the future. Perhaps his mother's pendant had lied to him and he _wouldn't_ be able to achieve anything he tried. Even still, he held it towards his chest, riding on horseback with Noire through a flurry of arrows and blood.

The cries of warriors pierced the sky, so loud even Naga must have heard them. The metallic smell of blood filled the air. Ylisstol was in flames, smoke filling his eyes until they watered. Inigo was sweating. He lifted his hand to wipe his face only to leave a trail of crimson blood over his mouth.

Inigo was fifteen and he celebrated his adolescence with the blood of his mother and father on his hands.

It was a rush to survive. He leaped off of the horse and rushed towards two limped bodies. He tore a silver bow from off his father's corpse and hurriedly put the quiver on his back. In one fell swoop, he drew the string back and pierced a Risen in the head, leaving a bloody hole where the eyelid was supposed to be. Another Risen crept up behind him. It swung its hefty arms and tore a piece off of Inigo's shirt, and gouged out a bit of Inigo's flesh. A sharp spear stabbed the second Risen clean trough the stomach, leaving a black, blood-like substance dripping from the spear's tip.

From behind the Risen, Inigo could see Kjelle, twisting the spear from out of its stomach. She said nothing but nudged her head to one side, prompting Inigo to stand back up and run.

_Stick to the plan. Rendevous with Lucina and Owain and protect the castle._

His watery eyes clouded his vision as he rushed away. In the middle of his sprint, Inigo unsheathed a short sword and swung it violently at his sides. A few rotten limbs fell to the ground, squirting out more of the thick black liquid. Even when Ylisstol was enraptured in a fierce fire, Inigo was determined with his head high. He held faith that he could save Ylisse this time. A voice yelled at him in the back of his head, screaming at him to survive.

_Survive so you can fulfill your promise and fight with her._  

Inigo wasn't quite sure what his 'promise' was. One day he would know but today was not that day. Today, he had to survive and restore peace to Ylisse. One last time, Inigo kissed his charm and pressed forward through the flames.

 

|||

Inigo was going to live a second life. First as Inigo, the foolish boy who would try and save Ylisse. Second as Laslow, the even more foolish boy who thought he could pull the same stunt again.

He's legs were restless and his fingers ached as the gripped the hilt of his sword. He looked to his left to see Severa delivering him and mocking, yet genuine grin. He looked to his right to see Owain grasping him tightly by the shoulder and giving him wordless reassurance. It felt a bit better having old friends by his side.

An enigmatic figure stood before the three of them, grasping an aged tomb by its bindings. She held her posture high, with a devilish smirk painted on her face. Her hair was short and blue as the sky and it framed nicely around her pale, lifeless face. Her eyes glimmered an unnatural violet.  

This was ~~Inigo's~~ Laslow's first step to finding Nohr and his first step to saving it all over again.

 

|||

Laslow decided tonight was another perfect night for dance practice. A dark forest under the full moon was just close enough that he could find his way back, but just far enough that no one would find him.

Laslow twirled around to see a woman was peaking out behind a tree. Laslow had seen her the week before, again in this same situation. Though that time, she rushed away and Laslow only caught a glimpse of her dress. Tonight, they stood face to face. A long strand of shy blue hair covered her face. Their eyes locked together and in a second her face twisted into a strange mix of nervousness, embarrassment and horror. Laslow, on the other hand, started to blush a bright shade of red.

"Ah, I'm sorry!" the woman insisted, lowering her head.

"No, no, it's alright I insist," Laslow felt awkward, waving his hands rapidly in front of his face to signal 'no' to her.

"I had seen your dancing the week before and I was curious about it," she continued. "You dance with such fluidity and grace."

Just as Laslow was starting to calm down, he blushed once more. He tried to utter out a single 'thank you' but even that was difficult.

Laslow's eyes fixated on her neck. A shiny pendant hung around it with a vivid blue stone that sat at the center. Laslow looked down at his own necklace again and then back at the woman.

"I didn't quite catch your name the first time we met," The woman's voice snapped him out of his musings.

"Ah, of course! My name is Laslow," the name continued to feel strange and foreign on his tongue but he knew he'd have to get used to it eventually. "and yours lovely lady?"

The mercenary grabbed her hand gently and did a fancy little twirl around her. The blue-haired woman's pale face lit up with a gentle blush. She mirrored his twirl and curtsied for him. Just this once, she might have decided to indulge him. Just for a little while. Pressing her hand against her mouth, she couldn't help but let out a small giggle. That was the first time a chuckle escaped her lips. 

_This time, I'll do all I can the help you and myself. We'll see things through to the end. Together._

"Azura. My name is Azura." her smile was as radiant as the morning sun, "it's nice to meet you, Laslow."


End file.
